Finally, someone has outdone Low.

Yay, the "Shakespeare in Love" backlash backlash is finally here! I've been waiting a long time for this. Suck it, SPR apologists! Turns out I was right all along to like this movie better.

Also, I was trying to make a joke about confusing Iggy Azalea's name with the flower, but apparently that is his/her actual name.

Superman IV plot points are still OK, right? Time to get working on shooting a strand of hair into the sun via nuclear missile.

I hope that Iggy Azalea-or-whatever parody is about something as universal as eating too many donuts, because lord knows I don't have the slightest idea who he or she is and likely won't understand the parody if it's some sort of meta-commentary. I'm old.

Damn! There goes my plan to use weather satellites to create tornadoes so I can control the world's coffee crop.

Who wants ice cream???

Hey, whoa now. Gordon Lightfoot didn't ask to be dragged into this. He's just doing his thing, Canadian style.

Before the Internet, I never realized dermatologists were such a hateful bunch.

Krenk Yankers?

I was wondering if anybody was going to mention this. I can't quite tell if that cameo makes me more apt to give her a pass or assume she's a horrible person. It's either one or the other, by the way—no middle ground.

Sooo… what you're saying is I don't have to worry because he's too incompetent to create a Mii?

Laugh all you want, but it's only a matter of time before Obama's avatar forces your avatar to gay marry some other dude's avatar.

Wait, you mean I gotta dirty these panties myself?!

I kinda want to eat the Ziggy Pig from "Bill & Ted's." I'd even put up with those waiters and the honking.

#WelcomeBackBigRedNO

NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE FROSTBITE!

This review is the funniest thing I've heard all day. I'd hate to be the one to break the news to them about "Vampire Academy."

DARABONT'S ORIGINAL DRAFT! EVERYONE, EVERYONE! DARABONT'S ORIGINAL DRAFT HERE!

I just read the Comics Curmudgeon. I can't deal with comics without snarky commentary anymore.