A Lost Boy's gotta crow.

There's always money in the banana stand.

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall in the AV Club offices for the discussion among copy editors about whether "ballsack-grooming product" required a hyphen … and whether ballsack was one word or two.

Somewhere, GLut is weeping, softly …

"Rook" and the new one are also very good. I somehow didn't check out the one that came between them.

Harmless 2: Mostly Harmless

Seconded. Dog Problems is all-around fantastic.

Hello?

Siri, call me "Maybe."

DO A BARREL DAWES!

How about "Scrooged"? I was waiting for Sisko to somehow turn the tables on Verad by making the Klingons think he called them flatulating buttheads.

I believe this means I can sue the federal government to return that $845 billion spent on the Iraq war, since it offered no benefit.

THE BEAVER SPEAKS FOR ME!

"Empires who sever heads have rebels who sever heads: A message from the Partnership for a Fanatic-Free Seleucid Empire"

I thought the "double-plus damn-well shelved" was pretty O'Neal-worthy.

Any universe with $4 shrimp: NOT WORTH SAVING!

Wait, is the title "U.S.A.! U.S.A!"? I don't think that's the case, but if so I find it strangely hilarious.

This is the tale of Pope Benedict XVI! Pontiff so dour on the Holy See!

Write to your congressperson and let them know that the AV Club is a threat to all that is decent and good!

Did you just say awesome?