What if we throw in an out-of-focus Chinese sex worker?

Can't we just change the rules of the Senate such that they just fight each other to the death?

AND????

If we can't trust Rolling Out to provide accurate reporting on our hip-hop moguls and their poetry, how can we trust anything?

This needs more likes, people.

"Housewives Getting Real in the Whole Foods Parking Lot": Coming to Bravo!

It's funny because I was actually working on a treatment of a series about a cat with a Pop Tart body who shits out rainbows before that video was ever popular.

He's the meme we deserve, but not the meme we need.

Duh, he just needs Lohan to confirm that her sending him nude pictures to ridicule him was part of the secret operation to kill Bin Laden, and that's why he was maced and arrested. Also, 9/11 was an inside job.

Failed in his attempt to "command [Lohan] to firstie."

The movie strongly hints that it did submerge. Apparently the story is that in the original script, Indy lashed himself to the periscope and rode it all the way to the secret Nazi island. There are even a few photos online that show they did make an attempt at filming that scenario, but instead decided to let people…

You just wait until my sock baby is born. Then we'll see who's really crazy.

"Some of her fans are selfrighteous assbags."

The lesbians who did shower preferred Indigo Girls, right?

I'm already doin' it!

Is Ivy her middle name? Or is it conjoined with Blue as part of her first name? I don't want Jay-Z to get mad at me for disrespecting her!

Me three! Man, that blue ivy upped my mama, fo' sho!

A couple months ago, I was crossing the street wearing headphones and got hit by a goddamn mail truck. Knocked me on my ass, but I survived. Take that, evolution!

Also, Jesus was only 5'7".

JERBS = ratings