Seriously, what is this shit?

(not really)
"Nearly infrasonic pipe-organ grumbles fill the gaps in a prised-apart synthesizer before the whole mess is blanketed and muffled by another layer of processed acoustic noise."

Eh
"You're Beautiful" was so overplayed I'm not sure I can give this bloke another chance!

"Clunky, empty loops and samples with what sounds like an Autotuned Aaron Neville layered on top."

There/They're/Their
Is it wrong that the thing that enraged me most about this whole story was his use of the wrong "there" in his Twittle?

Speaking of dumb asses, that should be: "Expecting GMA not to go after that … "

Here's an idea: Stop trying to play the victim, because you're not. You're the fucking victimizer.

Why is he wearing a personal, portable retina scanner?

Star-Whack Me Kitten

Hold up, something's fishy here. Even if there was such a thing as a "roundhouse punch," how would you execute one with your cock in some dog's mouth?

RE-PIERCE LEONARD HIRE!

It's St. Patrick's Day!

Why not just make the beams out of transparent aluminum?

I really appreciate that Keith properly hyphenated "ill-ass," unlike the source article. That's the sort of commitment that keeps me coming back here.

Yarp?

His career is really starting to flounder.

DAMN YOU LARS ERICKSON!

If this means eating pie twice a day, I'm all for it, even if I have to set an alarm for a.m. pie.

Mr. President: We've got to hold on to what we've got. It does not even make a difference whether or not we make it. We have each other—that's a lot.

Big if.