"Obviously I was being sarcastic…

No no, he's the guy who keeps complaining that someone stole his sugary breakfast cereal.

I thought a poor Marvin Gaye impression was responsible for the rise of Ed Sheeran.

Christ what an insane video.

Swallow, more often.

He's a bundle of dangling participles. Ugh.

Yes. But you could still be a total fucking dumbass.

*checks trousers*

I don't carrot all, internet!

"I'm filled with emptiness. Okay, -look, people are saying, okay, people are saying there's nothing but an empty hollow void inside of me. Believe me."

So much for the tolerant right.

It tastes saltier than Vaseline.

*attempts to eat table*

If I were a stark-raving lunatic, I would take off my shirt and rant about how the orange-and-teal movie phenomenon. WAS. A. GLOBALIST CONSPIRACY! TO ELECT! DONALD TRUMP, THE ORANGE ONE! YEARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*downs whiskey*

HA! YOU THINK THIS CLOWN IS SCARY? THIS CLOWNS NOT SCARY. THOSE CLOWNS IN WASHINGTON ARE GONNA KILL MILLIONS! AND MAKE MILLIONS MORE SUFFER! AMIRITE FOLKS?

It's shocking. It fits in with the rest of the book.

I suggest you all dress like clowns when you see this movie.

How come the clown couldn't go see It?

In related news, returns have diminished to the point that no one cares, fuck it. *kicks pebble*