So, therefore, it follows logically that you tell yourself to get off your own lawn?

Thou shalt not covfefe thy daughter's ass.

But what he didn't know was that the Dairy Queen was in cahoots with the Burger King, and she'd already had her way with all five guys.

Neither are we, and we're very surprised he's heard of Belgium.

*signs up for a second Cosby crate*

I just started opening the box and then I woke up a few hours later with my pants around my ankles.

Nope, they're getting hurt the most. Trump country is opioid epidemic country.

Fuck it. America deserves what it gets.

IDONTCAREHOWITWORKSJUSTGIVEMEMYFUCKINGCANDY!!!!!!!1!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! AMERICA!!!!!!!

I think so, MLA, but didn't the Simpsons peak in the 4th season?

Let us pause for a moment of silence on this Memorial Day to remember all of the kinjas who died to bring us these great deals.

Gonna drink a shit-ton of highlife and watch the shit out of this! FUCK YEAH AMERICA!

Lunch is in 10 minutes, so put your teeth in.

That face was made in a lab.

As someone with much larger than average hands, I hate shaking hands with someone like Trump, because they always end up crushing my pinky. I'm not impressed by the strength of your tiny-hand handshakes, douchebags! Stop crushing my fucking pinky knuckles!

As I fly through the parsec where I process my waste,
I take a look at my life, and re-uh-lize I live in space.

Yeah, I'm gonna need some more information.

God she's hot.

44? Shit. Anyone know the cause of death?

I know what you meant. I was providing another example of being an awful sports fan.