*shakes cane in anger*

Texting and walking has also resulted in a bunch of goddamn millennials walking right the fuck into me as soon as I get off the train and I'm just trying to get to work in time to have a fucking cup of coffee before sitting through another identical fucking meeting and stop staring at your fucking phone and drifting…

First, bitches.

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US

Yep. So… music sales are better than they've been in decades! Almost two decades!

Call me polar bear.

Christ what a terrifying video.

I can't wait to hear her talk abut the tingling in her bat-nethers!

I'm gonna have to side with the reedy dude on this one, Bela.

Fablet. A pink, bejeweled tablet. Fablet.

No!

Lotta people in Utah gotta change their names and move…

I feel bad for all of the suffering she endured. RIP.

Are you guys just going to babylon about the wrong franchise?

Blame it on the synthohol.

*high-fives Victoria whilst reloading beer bong*

How many of these are symbols for dicks? Those are the only emoji useful to me.

It wasn't a boner. I just have a huge dick.

People listen to Lorde, huh?

Can confirm. My mom likes Colbert. She only started watching for his Trump coverage.