I'm not sure I agree much with Harmon's phraseology, but generally agree with his message, and this article sort of distills why I rankle when people get so incensed about spoilers. Which is to say, if there's supposed to be a surprise, obviously it can make the very first watch of something more interesting to be…

I see dead commenters!

Me with every powerful consumable in every rpg ever made.

No way. If that's where they were going, the headline would've read "Raped Contestant Set to Face Attacker In Reunion Special!"

That would be fascinating and incredibly compelling.

I can't imagine what this poor woman must've done to have earned the title "Twilight's" anything. Even Patterson and Stewart have escaped that cloud.

I can't wait to see who will be cast to play Lindsay Lohan and Shia LaBeouf in the inevitable biopics about their disastrously wasted potential.

That's a celebrity MMA match I would pay to watch.

IT'S A TRAP

Curt Schilling is hilarious. What a nightmare of a human being. I love that he still takes no responsibility for his gross mismanagement of 38 Studios and, to this day, blames the people of Rhode Island and the governor for its failure. Apparently they were too optimistic about his business, and that's what caused it…

Except that Heinlein's entire bibliography could be pretty easily characterized as pseudo-intellectual wankery.

Any time the word "tesseract" appears in a work of fiction, it automatically tilts heavily towards descending into obnoxious levels of pseudo-intellectual wankery.

He was baked out of his mind when he filmed those scenes, right? Had to have been.

You'd think maybe they've had at least pumped the brakes on this a little bit after the most recent Transformers disappointment, but maybe there's literally nothing that can stop the freight train of visually confusing noise from barreling forever onwards.

You can! You can sue anyone for anything.

His cameo as the Somelier in John Wick 2 is divine. The entire "suit up" montage in that movie is fantastic and Serafinowicz is easily the best part.

And then they made Luke Cage. So we see how that worked out.

I wish I could get over the gimmick of Film Critic Hulk. The guy is clearly smart and has a lot of interesting thoughts, but I literally can't read the all-caps off kilter grammar for a whole page.

It was because you're so upset to see Casey Affleck still getting prestigious work.

That's a rough hill to die on, friendo.