If I weren't offended by the lyrics, I am definitely offended by the instagram post.

This is both a stupid controversy and that is a stupid lyric. Let's all agree that this is, in every way, stupid and move on with our lives. Great!

I only go to them when I understand that they'll be serving actual vegans, not vegan cuisine.

This is a particularly awkward and poorly phrased discussion of this issue, but I just want to point out that casting people who actually have the disability to play those characters can work much better.

Pretty sure Cisco would do better than that.

I laughed. But I felt bad about it. Congratulations.

No. There are none people reading crip face and not thinking of the gang.

Oh absolutely. The social experience is probably secondary to the marketing angle these days, but I meant that it doesn't surprise me that they're having trouble making up the price of the booth with sales. I think buying and selling comic books, especially, is just way way down the list of priorities for attendees.

I would think that Comic-Cons as places to sell to a wider audience have also been hurt severely by online retail/ebay. Two decades ago, if you wanted to get that sort of wider audience, you had to pack up and bring it to them, and everyone showed up and there was suddenly tons of product in one place, so there were…

Dozens of men were outraged today when they couldn't see one specific showing of a movie playing every hour on the hour in over 4000 theaters. Film at 11.

Well it's good to know this isn't a recent thing. I wish I'd seen them when they were touring in support of Aenima and Lateralus, but I didn't really click with them until I was in my mid-20s after 10K Days dropped.

I was going for a parody of them, but maybe I too-closely straddled the believable/farcical line.

I would've said the same thing about the Vans (TM) Warped Tour (TM), but then we got today's Newswire about what a crazy event that's become. So you never know!

I do my best to avoid close inspection at concerts. It's always a bad decision.

Don't even say that. As much as 10K Days was a step down from Lateralus, I couldn't handle it being that miserably bad.

I just saw Tool for the third time a couple weekends ago. Maynard is a total weirdo (he stands on a platform behind the drummer, not facing the audience and lit basically by ambient lighting and sort of crouches over and rocks back and forth the entire set), but man do they put on a fantastically mesmerizing live…

I didn't think it needed to be said that I wholly invented that needlessly complex and arbitrary formula as a joke.

Which is why I said "newswire" not "comment."

At no point during your rambling, incoherent attempt at a newswire did you approach anything resembling a cohesive narrative. We are all dumber for having read this. I award you no upvotes, and may god have mercy on your soul.

What happened to the moratorium I thought we all agreed to for autobiographies, biographies, and biopics for people under the age of retirement while they're still alive?