Anger over consumer electronics is more satisfying.

"If you know what you're doing."

This just in: Samsung independently comes up with the idea of removing headphone jacks. What are the chances??

The music is actually emitted from tiny microbes in the bloodstream?

Oh shit that's the human male dance.

Yeah that's actually a pretty good storytelling mechanic. Significantly reduces the occurrence of the question "Wait…who's this guy again?"

Halo 5: The Slightest Suggestion of a Nipple, or, I Have the Weirdest Boner Right Now

Something something Chris Christie something Justin Beiber something

Everything gets a fucking diagnosis.

Pitchfork's #1 got the site's perfect score: 7.8.

Now all they have to do is release more than one game I might want to play.

It was wrapped up—a meteor struck and killed everybody.

I definitely like the podcast better, and I think I just watch the show out of loyalty to that.

"I'm like an upside-down muffin."

Hey, my wife is the only person in the real world who knows I play WoW, and that's only because I literally can't hide the computer from her.

What isn't?

I doubt he's actually getting that much ass. He's the kind of guy who would fuck one person and then spend 15 years getting over it.

There are ladies in my office who make "coffees" that are half artificial creamer, followed by five packets of aspartame. They are invariably obese. Someday I will ask them why they even bother with the cup…here's a pump bottle of Coffee Mate to shoot into your mouth.

Hey, remember all that stuff I clearly don't need to say out loud because you obviously already know it? That stuff?

Does anyone else think Tywin might actually do a decent job running the kingdom? Once he kills all your favorite characters first, of course.