SUPEREGO!! Profiles in self-obsession!

Deepest darkest secret? Don't leave us hanging. This is the Internet, you're safe here.

I have one friend who reads all of these things, and finds every adaptation offensively deficient, as if these things are due hightened literary scrutiny. He's 26.

Harry Potter and The Golden Bones of The Olympians: Book one of the His Dark Instruments Series: Breaking Dawn

Connery>Craig>Dalton>Brosnan>Moore>Maxwell Smart>Austin Powers>James Bond, Jr.>the girl from the Bond knockoff 008: Operation Exterminate>Lazenby

Pitchfork

It has "-ology" in it and Scientology is heavily based on space travel.

Typical mer-cis prejudice.

Best: We listened to them all the way through.
Rest: Shit it's already Monday morning, skip through these podcasts enough to write a 50-word recap.

The Womptacular was epic. Launched Wompler/Listler to the top of favorite characters for me, second only to Mr. Marshall. The recapping works fine for me, what with how absurd it all is in the first place.

I prefer the high-octane stuff as well. Nothing says "badass bro" like a can of 3.2% stale seltzer water.

Damn it.

It's Saul Spiderman and his brother Irv Spiderman, so, yeah, the proper term is "Spidermans".

UGH LIZ LEMON WOULD NOT EAT FROZEN YOGURT

New Yorkers can't go to Broadway shows because New Yorkers can't afford the tickets because they live in New York.

Banger Management

"Last time I was that close to a Japanese machine it was shooting at me."

I'll have a…Pimm's cup. In a pimp cup.

To wee millenials in 1993:
"Be confident! Do well in school and be smart!"

Shawnaaaaa