This guy
I… don't want to talk about this guy.

Oh, you have NO idea.

They're underpaid extras in 120-degree suits who don't even get mentioned in the credits is what they are.

Like I give a crap about modern movies. I'm technically dead!

I should add when I say "multiple takes," I mean way, way more than the average amount of takes in your standard movie. I mean an excessive amount of takes.

I was in the original
Jesus Christ, what a pain filming that movie was. This was before any semblance of "good working conditions" had been established for any non-starring Hollywood actors, so those who played the adoring fans of the dictator were kept in hot, cramped rooms when not filming. Charlie Chaplin was a…

I hope they have a role for a zany yet non-threatening teacher!

Okay, I cleaned her trailer.

I had a role in
Kate Beckinsdale once, if you get what I'm saying. Eh? Eh?

Was in this
The huge, overarching problem was not the novice director but the kid actor. The kid couldn't just not act, he couldn't read lines properly either, to the point where people would try to hold cue cards offscreen for him in non-noticeable ways, but he even flubbed lines when they were in front of him. The…

I really am a guy who briefly appears in the background in two high school scenes in the original Back to the Future.

But Gallagher is my favorite comedian, because he's right about everything!

I've eaten lunch with much of the cast. They're mostly pleasant and united behind their hatred of Taymor and Bono.

1. Fables of the Reconstruction
2. Life's Rich Pageant
3. Murmur
4. Reckoning
5. Green
6. Automatic for the People
7. Document
8. Out of Time
9. Monster
10. Accelerate
11. Around the Sun

What could possibly improve awards season?
The stage is dark. Suddenly, a lone spotlight shines on Anne Hathaway. She is wearing a tastefully low-cut dress, enough to see some things, but not, as Patrick Stewart would say, to see everything. She holds a single, gilded envelope in her hands. Slowly, and with palpable…

I wanted to try Broadway, because I had had it up to here with Hollywood at this point, and, remarkably, I was cast as Crook #2 in this musical. Taymor is every bit as pretentious as she sounds here… I still have a note I received after getting the part that reads, "You are with me today as we strive towards a new…

Hey, I could play the Riddler! No, seriously, riddle me this, Christopher Nolan: Why aren't you giving me a job, right now?
Call me.

The Also-Ran is all about Blumenstein in this one. Damn, the Jews do run everything!

Not dumb enough for you, apparently. The only thing I have in common with that bloviating pseudo-philosophical moron is the loose connection to movies. However, unlike him, I've actually DONE things; I've been in pictures, though never a leading man, and I'm at least sort of well-known in "the business."
So, up yours,…

As I have said before, I was in this movie
So the idea that Ellis is a frat-boy prick is no surprise to me. He promised me a speaking role, then reneged on that promise. To add insult to injury, he said I could rejoin the speaking cast if I wanted to be "guy who gets dick bit while peeing." I have my pride, dammit.