Contrary to previous scientific statements made by Jesse "The Body" Ventura, the Tyrannosaurus Rex did not need chewing tobacco.

damn damn damn i missed it!

Care Free!!!!

I want to win gold while smoking!

Shut up! One more mention of him and he'll appear!

Like it's 19 Mother Fuckin' 99!

What does the peanut-butter represent?

That's what she said…

I just thought of George Carlin and now I'm sad.

Your just saying that because John Mayer won't fuck him.

I just pray that someone throws in an electric space-heater.

ucking your mom got boring?

I gave my love a cherry.

I'd like to see the "one black dude" be Rodney King.

Elizabeth Hurley is a sexual bouncing betty.

Some of my closest maids are non-white!

Dave Mathews penis is more of a Pat Buchanan.

"Jess, dear, why do your panties smell like a KFC?"

His music is bland. Terrible music (Yoko Ono) at least can take chances. His music is the Jennifer Aniston of douche-guitar.

Does that mean his balls are TEA-Baggers?