If he were a band, Jay would certainly be 'Live'.

Since I like both applesauce and tapioca pudding, I'll just say he's more like epicac with a sodomy chaser.

Maybe he was speaking of Megan Fox. I'd spend 2 weeks in her.

Conan will crush his enemies, see them driven before him, and hear the lamentation of their women.

This is tangible proof that the recession is over.

Training wheels for douche-baggery?

queue the banjo…

I cannot watch that clip enough.

I have an over-riding urge to kick some cargo shorts in the crotch.

Where is the Disney genetics lab that keeps pumping these "kids" out?

Towel, tea, also always be in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc.

Just call me Jimmy Swagger.

Night of the Lepus with Deforest "Stop calling me bones" Kelly is required viewing in my home.

Dave Coulier is not somebody to be trifled with, Arsenio.

Why not just remake Tootsie to be on the safe side?

I think we saw the downward trajectory Jackie Chan was on with Rush Hour 2 and that it continues with "The Spy Next Door"

I can't work up hatred for cup-cakes, but whole stores devoted to them kinda anrgy-ups the blood.

I want a banjo playing in the distance.

She put me off of milk after that Anne Liebowitz photo shoot.

If they don't have Wil Smith re-doing the Carl Douglas classic "Kung-Fu Fighting" somebody's getting cockpunched.