She was smokin' in E.T.

Colonel Mustard could take his ass in a fight.

Was that anything like the "Custer wore Arrow Shirts" ad?

remember, keep the gubmint out of business. That's god's domain!

Jesus may save, but I picked up the rebound and stuffed that biscuit into your five-hole, bitch!

Falafels unite!

Jingle Fails
Jingle Fails
Fails all the waaaayyy!!

:reaches for broken pool cue:

You know who else froze under the pressure of a firstie?

I'll save my $25 and 2 hours, thankyouverymuch!

They'll supply his ashes. Look for a vaccuum cleaner.

If we could sell the Yankees and Manchester United (owned by AIG), we'd probaby be out of debt.

Couldn't the same lesson be applied to the word "gay"? It's synonymous with lame now. I'll use it in a sentence:

Enough of this skylarking!

I prefer my egg salad sandwiches to be procured from a truck-stop mens room.

I call shenanigans.

"Hope"! "Universal Healthcare"!"Savior"!
Secreted aliens!

…and blow?

That Billy Crystal mother fucker.

I'll do it but I insist on having John Denver's corpse dug up to be used a my co-host.