We "own" one but it hasn't been hooked up to anything or plugged in in something like 5 years.

Woo Hoo!

I will! You'd like her. She drinks like someone out of Mad Men.

And to this day when I smell rotting pizza I get a little hard.

Since the Republican Party is strongest in the Southern regions of the United States I think they made it part of their platform for the next election

Jeez. You girls had it made. I spent my teenage years masturbating to weather stained copies of Screw and Hustler that I found in the apartment complex dumpster.

That's a bummer because Agent 47 is a really prime role.

All I know about this series of books is that my sister was really into reading them when we were teenagers and now that I know what was going on in those pages I'm KINDA FREAKING OUT.

"You won't have Shia Labeouf to kick around anymore."

Tyler Perry's Seven Strong-willed Black Brides for Seven Conniving Unreliable Brothers

Or showing up on basic cable reality shows alongside Ashley Simpson and whatever one of Milli Vanilli that's still alive

I have to expect this will impact his career negatively. He's been such a total ass throughout this weird episode and Hollywood is so wrapped up in intellectual property rights of late (and with good reason) that this kind of thing has to stink to high heaven for the big wigs at the studios.

Then it turned out that Sean has been cribbing these wisecracks from old Harlan Ellison telescripts and novellas. It hurt but I think we all grew up a little that day.

Now that's one writer who I really wish would start plagiarizing someone with at least a little talent

"You see, Hollywood, it's not that I'm lazy… it's that I just don't care."

I really haven't been hanging out around here very much for a while so I don't think I really deserve the credit for this… but in honor of LaBeouf I'm going to claim it for myself anyway.

Woohoo…drinks for everyone!

Wasn't Hugh of Labia a minor character in King Lear?

Not so fast. If his brain was functioning in the first place don't you think he'd have been able to string a few words together all by himself on occasion?

In other news: There is a God… or at least the universe isn't quite as harsh and unfeeling as previously thought. So we got that going for us.