Yes… yes… now swallow the happy. Swallow it!

But I LIKE being encouraging, you stupid fuck.

Every time, baby.

Yay white people! We rule!

Yesterday, actually, but Sinistar was my favorite arcade game when I was in college so I'll let it slide.

The Good, The Bad and The Wonder

Hey, I was criticizing the phenomena!  I'm with you!

Hitler was not a very good painter. His compositions were clunky and unbalanced and he overmixed his paints so the colors looked muddy.

Whew! When I first read that I read "reliable" as "relatable". Glad I was wrong.

I came for the film criticism but I'm staying for the easy and repetitive underage anal rape jokes!

I was forced to in 2007 for my job (after years of resistance), and it's still the same phone. If they want to give me something fancier, they can drop the cash for it.

Fuck you. I still have a flip phone.

Doing bad comedy so that its funny is an underappreciated talent and Kaitlin Olson has it in spades.

I once came home to my Sophomore year apartment very drunk from a party next door, stripped down to my tighty whities and went to straight bed. After having layed down I noticed I still had a half full can of beer in my hand so, in a perfect example of drunk-think, I decided to see if I could balance it on my eye. I…

If she really wanted to catch a pair of harried, overworked and fairly disinterested parents on the phone, yes, I believe she would.

Yes, that seemed like a piece of unalloyed good news in there.

(full stop)

Gimmick

Newton

You