Wanna stick my dickay in dem syrup-sweet pancake tittays

I found this article while Googling for "semen-covered horse remains". Try to imagine my disappointment that this is basically false advertising (hint:  you can't, I'm too devastated).

I hope he gets pulled into the Hollywood remake/superhero racket. A Malick remake of Porky's would be divine. When he moves onto superheros, I feel like he could do a great version of Rob Liefeld's Youngblood.

One day…maybe I can touch a girl.
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Nope. Looks like I'll die alone.

They want it to be BETTER than Kirk Cameron's Left Behind? Is that even possible?

It has BEGUN!!!!

The most HEINOUS thing is that this very reviewer gave Uncharted 2 an "A":  http://www.avclub.com/artic… . What do you think about THAT?

In a world where gamers flame a reviewer for giving Uncharted 3 a "low" 8/10 score (yes, this really happened:  http://www.eurogamer.net/ar… ), I can't wait until THIS review gets linked around!

One day all Juggalos will be undercover agents. They'll spray each other with Faygo, looking for a "hot tip" into gang activity, but instead find the cold, dead eyes of other agents. They will see a mirror image of themselves, creating an existential void that will send them tumbling into a malaise from which they…

It's hard to pick favorites, but I like this one better than the others.

Definitely. I still think Carrot Top is interesting enough to make this a good episode, but it could have been one of the greats.

I agree. I'd go even further and say that The Lorax is a masterpiece. I read it somewhat recently in a collection of Seuss's other work, making me realize that The Lorax features his most beautiful poetry and his most beautiful images. When Once-ler describes the first time he saw a truffula tree, the combination of…

Sun Yu Neel, the Chinese AVClub's version of Sean O'Neal, has already been executed for snarkiness.

He was livin' it up while goin' down.

I actually thought Jon Stewart.

Jesus, that's quite a picture to wake up to.

"I'm gonna get blamed for this."

Saint's Row's manure spraying outings have forever raised the bar on side missions. That toothpaste can't be put back in the tube, Rockstar. No more "cousin" this, or "girlfriend" that.

I wish Sorkin would just do a biopic of himself and be done with it.

This is the only Lohan pic that we really need:  http://jojonews.com/wp-cont…