Tryouts for the U.S. Olympic women's marathon swim team were to be held. The first was in California; a swim from from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke. Three women signed up for the tryouts - a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.The race started, and after approximately 14 hours, the brunette…

Tryouts for the U.S. Olympic women's marathon swim team were to be held. The first was in California; a swim from from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke. Three women signed up for the tryouts - a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.The race started, and after approximately 14 hours, the brunette…

A Texan died and went to heaven but he refused to go through the pearly gates until the boss came out and answered a question…. The boss comes out. The Texan says: "I want to know one thing, and I want to know it right now. Why wasn't Jesus Christ born a Texan? The world would have been a much better place if Jesus…

A Texan died and went to heaven but he refused to go through the pearly gates until the boss came out and answered a question…. The boss comes out. The Texan says: "I want to know one thing, and I want to know it right now. Why wasn't Jesus Christ born a Texan? The world would have been a much better place if Jesus…

This guy walks into a pub with a gremlin sitting on his shoulder. He sits at the bar and orders a pint and a half of lager.The gremlin downs his half-pint, runs long the bar, dips his head in a blokes beer and goes, "Brrr!".The guy orders another pint and a half. The gremlin repeats the performance. The bloke grabs…

This guy walks into a pub with a gremlin sitting on his shoulder. He sits at the bar and orders a pint and a half of lager.The gremlin downs his half-pint, runs long the bar, dips his head in a blokes beer and goes, "Brrr!".The guy orders another pint and a half. The gremlin repeats the performance. The bloke grabs…

TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?

TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?

Q: What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?

Q: What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?

Q: What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?

Q: Why don't they make an ipod touch for kids?

Q: Why don't they make an ipod touch for kids?

One day there was a woman who was about to have babies. She went to a fortune teller and the fortune teller said she would have twins - and they would be demons. The news somehow got on TV, so there were FBI agents and cops in the hospital room where the woman was going to give birth. They had guns ready to shoot the…

One day there was a woman who was about to have babies. She went to a fortune teller and the fortune teller said she would have twins - and they would be demons. The news somehow got on TV, so there were FBI agents and cops in the hospital room where the woman was going to give birth. They had guns ready to shoot the…

I'm not being condescending; I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I'm not being condescending; I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present.

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present.

I’d rather see a pregnant woman standing on the bus than a fat girl sitting down crying.