Y'know, Nudeviking, the big city is a tough place, it's tougher when you're hanging with Wildman Bobby Flay every day. Long story short, Jack McDavid got a batch of bad Special K and we had to abandon his ass on the doorstep of the Down Home Diner at 3 AM. Turned him on his stomach so he wouldn't swallow his own vomit…

How we doin AV Club? Bobby Flay here just stopping by to mention this show sounds like bunk to me. The next step will be a show consisting of Bourdain sleeping on planes. Or sleeping on buses, or sleeping in gutters, you know the usual routine for a recovering junkie. Good to see Bourdain managed to put together a…

Methadone clinics generally don't offer the best acoustics.

The Crusher Reborn = Michael Symon. Time hasn't been kind to him ever since he got crushed on Iron Chef by the man, the legend, Bobby Flay.

When you've been strung out as long as Bourdain, eating cats or insects becomes second nature, it doesn't even register to him anymore.

Boy, you dingdongs are sure changing the stereotype of the whiny vegeterians here.

Not a problem for Bourdain, he's got a stomach full of protein, if you catch my drift.

Ask Morimoto who got their ass handed to them, if you can find the right dumpster that is.

Hey, Pairesta, thanks for the kind words, next time you're up for a five star meal at a three star price, head down to Bobby's Burger Palace. Tell em Bobby sent ya and get a plate of complimentary plate of chutney potato skins.

Give me a break. Koski's a good kid, but if we were to have a Jager shot THROWDOWN, there's no question who'd come out victorious.

Guy Fieri's a good shit. I'm not saying I have and I'm not saying I haven't, but I'm gonna say that if you need to disappear a hooker in the Vegas desert at 3 AM, it's much better to have him out there digging with you rather than that crybaby Alton Brown.

Yeah, Bourdain hosting his own cooking show. He could put out a line of non-burn spoons and brillo pads to go with it.

Anybody who buries chipotle in the middle of the list like that don't know squat about the cooking style of Iron Chef Bobby Flay.

Food Network is the only channel that drug tests its personalities. You wouldn't believe how much Rachael Ray once paid me for my piss.

It's like I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, only poorly written.

*weeps openly*

Bourdain's no stranger to poofs or eating testicles.

Heya, how ya doin AV Club, Bobby Flay here, making a triumphant comeback from a self-imposed hiatus only to find that my worst dreams have come true. After years of Iron Chef and local champ Bobby Flay offering the chance at a rare one-on-one interview, I have to come back to my own turf to see the catcher's mitt face…

Hey, MrZ, you oughta check out a show called Good Eats if penis-eaters is your thing.

Correction: he didn't swallow. OH!