me play joke
Seeing all these Japs reminds me of the time I flew over to that side of the world to stomp Morimoto's sorry ass on Iron Chef. I have fond memories of jumping up and down on Morimoto's cooking tables just to rub in that defeat a little more, cause that's how we do it in the big City, baby!

I'll be there…
just in case they come to their senses and write in Throwdown! with Bobby Flay for best show. And best actor, of course (me).

Hey, I'll have to let Alton Brown know about this thread, you guys would get along great!

Only if it's going into an open wound, ya sick fuck!

Bobby Flay don't have time to keep up with every flash-in-the-pan friend of the boss's daughter that they throw a show at. Just throw a banging on them and move on.

burning up several tons of cocaine, huh?
There's a shocker. Was he using a butane torch and a sheet of tinfoil?

Believe me, I've got a guy in Jersey that's gonna help me get this Emeril character out of the way real soon.

Bobby Flay hates to hear this sort of news. If Artie had taken the time to head to a nice uptown boutique instead of the KMart around the corner, he'd have known that the way to go is Bobby Flay's Grillmaster series. Cuts through a nice succulent ribeye just as easily as a fat junkie's ribcage! For an added twist, rub…

Curtis Stone
Who?

Sorry, guys, in an effort to class up our image after Fieri barfed in one too many kitchens, The Food Network has eliminated some of what we in show business call the more "lowest common denominator" markets, namely the southeast, non-metropolitan midwest, and a few pockets of medicrity across the nation. Try moving…

New Year Throwdown!
The Flayster knows how to bring in the New Year. When I wasn't face-deep in Giada's funbags, I was talking Guy Fieri into pissing in Alton Brown's drink! Take that ya fruity dweeb! The highlight of the night came when I pantsed Emeril in front of a group of Make-a-Wish kids. Hope your wish was for…

I hear ya, baldy, where was the theme to Throwdown! on here? They should've at least sampled in a few of Morimoto's sobs from the fourth time I served him up on Iron Chef America.

Bobby Flay has something to say
You people do crave mediocrity. If that weren't true, Boy Meets Grill would've won the Emmy it deserved. I'd have been the first Food Network star, not that fat troll Emeril.

Condolences from the Flay-man
What kind of a god takes someone so talented and lets Alton Brown continue to walk the earth?

Oh! i like hot dogs, take a step back, hot shot!

Partdavid, that brought tears to my eyes.

Whenever you nancies get done sliding in your tampons, I'll show you how to make some caramelized oyster mushrooms.

I like it better than Alton Brown's new show…
Man vs. Cock.

You think Fieri is a big ham? You should've seen the size of the ham that fat cow Paula Deen took to the schnoz a few weeks back.

Adam Richman is a poor man's Guy Fieri, and Guy Fieri is a poor man's Sloth from The Goonies.