See, now this is how I remember the AVClub handling trolls back in the old days.
Other than forgetting to put "globalist" in there somewhere, you did great. You are to troll combat as Dawes is to that sweet, sweet Laurel Canyon Sound.

Brave people, the local milk people. They refuse to be cowed.

Especially if it comes from a white Russian.

And two Republican/Democrat pairs of senators have introduced legislation to make it harder for Trump to fire Mueller. Apparently they'll be backdated to before his hiring.

3 words guaranteed to cheer you up: "Grand Jury Assembled."

"My hovercraft is full of eels."

Growing up in Detroit in the 60s, we had Milky, the Twin Pines Dairy clown. I wonder if that's who he was babbling on about.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Fun Fact: I met Milky. He had a big influence on my life.

I think this also defines "pathological liar." I was married to someone like this, and it's amazing to watch someone lie when telling the truth would be easier and get better results.

This sounds dreadful. C'mon Hayley and Ewan, you're fine actors. You can do better than this.

I'm going to get my Washington State CDL, and, while the book is only in English, the test is in-get this- either English, Spanish, Russian, or Serbo-Croatian!
It's an outrage, I tell ya!

Don't forget The Hollies!
"If you could only see me.
And know exactly who I am.
You wouldn't want to be me,
Oh I can assure you of that.
I'm not the guy to run with,
Cause I'll pull you off the line.
I'll break you and destroy you
Give me time.
He's King Midas with a curse.
He's king Midas in Reverse.
He's King Midas with a…

No incest!
(never forget)

"Square Meals," by Jane and Michael Stern. My last copy automatically fell open to the meatloaf recipe.

The world's ugliest car.

That was Captain Pike, if I nerdmember correctly.

I was doing a remote broadcast from a recycling center and, just out of curiosity, looked in the huge dumpster full of paper recycling.
50 prime issues of Penthouse (from the 70s-the Golden Age) later…

I dunno. This might be the beginning of bad news for America.
Having a retired Marine Corps general as Chief of Staff means that, for the first time since January there's going to be a grownup in the White House.
Sure, he might limit access to that circus freakshow Pindick calls his advisors.
But he might actually get…

I've never served in the military, but I'm pretty sure that United States Marine Corps generals have a very small tolerance for bullshitting grandstanders.
It's only a matter of time before Trump fires Kelly.
Also, this feculent Brylcreamed sleazeball was probably getting more media attention than The Feculent…

Ah, what food these morsels be!

I"m so jealous. I've always wanted to to True West. Break a leg!