Dang
Cancer of the esophagus is a tough one

NBA Free Agency
I tried to start reading this, but dirty ESPN has broken my brain and all I can think about now is NBA free agency

JUMANJI!
!

You're a little taller, you know, I noticed that. You're longer.
Louis CK's dynamite, of course. I saw him at the Orpheum in Boston last St Paddys Day and it was wonderful but still, whatever he does for the rest of his life, he will always be Brendon's dad to me

Maybe she'll think up such humorous situations for Michael Scott to partake in that the sheer force of pure comedy will render Steve Carell incapable of leaving the show

Seriously, he was in so many cool movies in the 90s

I read an interview where Anderson said he'd like to do a movie set in outer space, so I think we can all agree he should just concentrate on that glorious monstrosity after he's done adapting My Best Friend

Holy flurking schnit, man, why do we even remotely need this?
Just make a Grim Fandango movie, already, Hollywood!

wikipedia says no, but Hamm is in two pretty okay looking movies coming out this year. One is the James Franco Allen Ginsberg biopic and the other is Ben Affleck's directorial follow-up to Gone Baby Gone

Agreed, your highness. If being cast as a Batman villain is the only way to get rid of Robin Williams once and for all, we just might have to bite that bullet

Wait, I have a facebook account, does that mean someone's playing me in this movie, too?
I sorta look like Paul DePodesta, so I guess I'll be played by Jonah Hill, which is kind of a bummer

Nothing makes me feel more disconnected from humanity than watching people just lap up Williams' shtick. I remember my freshman year human communications professor showed us thirty minutes of Williams on the Chas Rose show running through his regular bufoonery, because she felt it was truly a man who had mastered…

Not that it really matters because the movie was mostly blah and I mean we're only talking about playing Two-Face here, but Tommy Lee Jones is about a gabillion times the actor Billy Dee Williams could ever hope to be and I'd much rather watch Jones act like a crazy asshole for 90 minutes

Scott Tobias
is jealous of Tom Cruise

The fact that he's churned out 690 of these since registering is at least a little impressive

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72
Guess you were just counting tv and film, but this is I think Thompson's funniest, most well-written and least annoying piece of work

There aren't enough movies where the President of the United States gets to kill a bunch of foreigners

The great thing is that there are like 20 stone-cold classic American movies you never need to watch if you've already seen seasons 2-7 of The Simpsons

Abraham Lincoln is sneakily one of this country's most terrible historical tyrants. You should feel no pride in watching him beat up some poor guy in a bar. The only good thing Lincoln ever did was the Lincoln Money Shot channel, and I'm not even sure that was actually him

The Candidate
If you're anywhere near as attractive as Robert Redford and you're willing to sacrifice all semblance of integrity in the process, well, you too can become a US senator