I'll bet she's English.

Only if LeBeef gets stepped on by one of those robots.  Maybe if they bring back Megan Fox.

Not to worry.  He also believes that his parents love him.

Only because her boobs aren't down around her waistline yet.

Padma Lakshmi is the thinking man's version of Sofia Vergara.

But you fantasize about seeing her in Gestapo lengerie constantly, don't you, you perv.

Have you checked yourself for a pulse?

I've got a spec script in which she decapitates Whitney Cummings!  That might not be enough for stardom, but I bet it would be enough for a Nobel!

Am I remembering correctly that Caplan was in "Mean Girls," "Cloverfield," and "The Class?"  Because if I am, I might have to start watching this show. 

Sounds like a fate fit for a Kardassian.  Preferably the one with the succubus-like eyes and the dung beetle-like brain.

I liked their copy of the Israeli Galil, their counterinsurgency units, their G-5 and G-6 howitzers, their SS-77 GPMG, and their armored vehicles.  Oh, and their camo patterns and their indigenous PLCE's.

BFD.  So does most of the planet.  Except for the Kardassians.

Man…that sounds almost as trenchant as something JVS would have said.  *sobs quietly*  Sumbitch, I miss that trenchantly commenting sports-loving bastard.

Why can't the Kardassians be the African Kardassians?  That way, they could do some good.  As in after they are all massacred in some brutal civil war, their putrifying corpses could fertilize the ground and help the blood diamonds grow.

Hey, O'Neill!

Whatever you do, do not watch "The Happening."  Or as it's known around these parts:  Marky Mark vs. the Tree Farts.

Your avatar looks disturbingly like Reese Witherspoon.

At least Goldie had the decency to give Kate Hudson to the Gypsies to be raised as one of their own.

But that's not ironic in the least.  It is, however, incandescently hilarious.

I will, for the sake of discussion, concede that the miracles of modern plastic surgery and about a bajilliondy dollars could perhaps render Madonna's vagina as smooth as silk, but nothing could make it smell like fresh lavender.