When Anne Hache walked into my office speaking alien and talking about visions from Jesus, I knew right away I had to have it as a show. I cut her a $78 million check as she ran around the room, waving her hands in the air, screaming profanities about Ellen.

When Anne Hache walked into my office speaking alien and talking about visions from Jesus, I knew right away I had to have it as a show. I cut her a $78 million check as she ran around the room, waving her hands in the air, screaming profanities about Ellen.

The Office is my second favorite show on NBC! Right after SMASH! I've already pre-renewed it for 16 more seasons of hilarious hijinks! Hey John Krasinski! Try to
get out of your contract like Carell did! You can't even get out of it when you die thanks to the Bernie's-Frankenstein clause!

The Office is my second favorite show on NBC! Right after SMASH! I've already pre-renewed it for 16 more seasons of hilarious hijinks! Hey John Krasinski! Try to
get out of your contract like Carell did! You can't even get out of it when you die thanks to the Bernie's-Frankenstein clause!

That's harsh. It certainly wasn't the moment that I canceled Dead Like Me!

That's harsh. It certainly wasn't the moment that I canceled Dead Like Me!

The CW is a joke, just like Univision! Our many exciting programs this year are guareteed to make us hits in the Nielsen ratings! Why I greenlighted this new show "The New Normal" which has gay people in it. 10% of the population is gay, so 30 million people will watch it! The math works out!

The CW is a joke, just like Univision! Our many exciting programs this year are guareteed to make us hits in the Nielsen ratings! Why I greenlighted this new show "The New Normal" which has gay people in it. 10% of the population is gay, so 30 million people will watch it! The math works out!

Our expectations about this season's ratings! We're going to beat the CW, and do better than Univision at least half the nights!

Our expectations about this season's ratings! We're going to beat the CW, and do better than Univision at least half the nights!

NBC is the gold standard of sitcom development! We're so good at creating sitcoms we give them away to other networks! When "New Girl" crossed my desk, I said, "No, give this to Fox!" We wouldn't have room for it on our schedual when we expanded The Voice to airing four nights a week! Gotta leave something for Fox!

NBC is the gold standard of sitcom development! We're so good at creating sitcoms we give them away to other networks! When "New Girl" crossed my desk, I said, "No, give this to Fox!" We wouldn't have room for it on our schedual when we expanded The Voice to airing four nights a week! Gotta leave something for Fox!

Watch SMASH!

Watch SMASH!

NBC's new ad campaign is designed to make people think that Univision never actually existed! It's like that hit movie Conception!

NBC's new ad campaign is designed to make people think that Univision never actually existed! It's like that hit movie Conception!

The CW stole Oh Sit! right out from under us! But we got Stars Earn Stripes, take that CW!

The CW stole Oh Sit! right out from under us! But we got Stars Earn Stripes, take that CW!

Univision is NBC's main competition! We're in a fight to the death with them for the lucrative "TV left on while doing housework" share of the market!

Univision is NBC's main competition! We're in a fight to the death with them for the lucrative "TV left on while doing housework" share of the market!