First God gave us Thandie Newton, and it was good. Then he said, "I can do this again, but just slightly more perfect…" and he gave us Zoe Saldana. And it was good.

it's less than 3 minutes long?

I work in TV news. I've fielded these kind of calls dozens of times. It's always older women. One lady lost her shit one time because a man and woman anchor touched each others' hands while talking about a story. Most recently we got a call from an old lady because you could see the outline of our female…

jug?

he does tend to go to the artificial harmonic well a whole hell of a lot.

I abort a couple of hundred thousand potential humans several times a week.

man, oh man, it's Manischewitz

She's a fine girl

ARCTU. Damn. The comedy of Andy… and Paget Brewster in business attire. How can you lose with that?

Eva was prettier in my book.

listening to her I can't help but think of practically any woman's voice from a 1940's movie.

We still have a Christmas party where I work. A few co-workers and myself have a band that plays at it. We re-write songs to parody people and events at our workplace. Last year I won a $100 gift certificate to a local jewelry store coming in first place in the beer chugging competition. I work in smaller-market…

I've been faced a few times with being asked to attend something that my gal pal couldn't have also attended based on our finances. I have always declined the trip out of consideration for her feelings. Your friends getting married on the beach in Nassau will never miss you anyway.

something…banana

"Friendship Bandwidth" That is a concept I've always been aware of but never had the words to articulate it's existence. Thanks, Dan.

that's what I say every time I totally roast some jive-turkey: "Welcome to Burn Country"

Dude, I said that like almost verbatim 7ft back ago.

I would never eat a cricket. With those horse-hair snake parasites in them. Especially if it was cooked very little.

he plays the same character in every movie and I couldn't be happier about it.

don't forget their brief dalliance with Hyundai.