I think he may have mentioned that.

That's why I say, "hey man, nice shirt"

…ever since they dropped that soy bomb on him

My friends and I were driving my mom's '87 Chevy Celebrity around in the early 90's. Looked in the glove box and there was a Neil Diamond Christmas cassette. We checked it out and his version of "O Holy Night" was pretty comical. Especially the 'fall on your knees" part. In its more traditional forms it is…

Scariest sounding ingredient was always the funniest part.

Seriously. How does the staff decide who gets that mofo? That thing is sweet as hell.

When you Grindr too much sometimes it gets a little Tinder.

Root 69

It was a bar towel he wrapped the cue-ball up in, not a sock! Why would there just be a sock on a table in a bar?

I think "A Boy and His Dog" was loosely the inspiration for the TV show "Knight Rider"

Magic Penis = White
Magic Johnson= Black

Super Heavy Goat Ass comes to mind

Stuff You.

What?? That teabag's probably never even smacked a broad around a little.

so you can take that cookie and stick it out yo…

I've never eaten at Cracker Barrel. I come from one of those rare stay-together families that had sit-down home-cooked meals every night until well into my teenage years. From what I hear about their menu and the ambience, it is pretty much what I ate my whole life. Guess I don't see it as some escapist,…

that's why nobody is "hooking up"

where on television?

The people talking about the "goddamned long-haired hippuhs" and "ho-my-sexuals" in White Lightning are awesome though

He taught Judo & music, owned a jazz club, punches people, and rode a motorcycle? Now he does those Dos Equis beer commercials.