Hey, Crow's New Hair is always cool. You take that back!

So it's like Facebook?

Oh, they weren't using it anyway.

That is a damn good point.

John Mulaney was right on the nose. Trump is a hobo's version of what it's like to be rich.
"I'm gonna live in a tower with my name on it! I'm gonna have spun gold on the top of my head. Im gonna eat steak and ketchup every day!"

Even liberals seemed to be complaining this time about how boring the plain red cups were.

I liked them, personally. But I'm very boring.

STUPID SEXY RYAN!

Mmmmmm, no.

Yeah, you might want to do some research on that.

Nothing good ever comes from people owning guns.

Sometimes it can be two things.

Usually just the first thing, though.

Just maim her nice and good.

Hey, fella, I'm no pussAHHHHH A SPIDER!

"Because he's new at this! He's learning as he goes!" is actually an excuse I've seen used.

Surely does, English.

Only who can prevent forest fires?
You pressed "you", meaning "me". That's incorrect. The correct answer is "you".

…Yes I would!

(Mike Myers stands there, not sure of what to do)

No announcement yet. I hope it never happens. I've accrued so many upvotes. Do you know how many Simpsons references I had to make to get to 40,000?!

"He was saying "big league!"

- Donald Trump's supporters, because that's all they care about.