Leo says it keeps him grounded.

Once a month, Leonardo di Caprio meets Rob Schneider in a seedy hotel downtown. Two naked bodies convulsing on sweat-soaked, grimy sheets. Schneider pins di Caprio down, grabs him by the hair and pulls his head back. Without breaking his rhythm Schneider whispers gently, "Respice post te! Hominem te esse memento!…

“A one-night stand is usually nothing to brag about, but what if the person you slept with is famous? OK, what if they were sort-of famous? How about about they used to be sort of famous? Would you settle for a former contestant on The Bachelor? Yes? Then this is the show for you!"

Schneider was faking it.

So did I, Alien Jesus. So did I.

Excuse me, they're called "unions".

I would be satisfied with an homage to Uhura's fan dance in Star Trek V.

Reasonable facsimile of:
a) underwear
b) a scene
c) female
d) members
?

Written, illustrated, read, self-stimulated to completion. *hits stopwatch* Damn I'm good!

What wacky hijinks will that cat get up to next?

We could kill off Emilio Estevez in the first five minutes again!

That's no boob.

ANN B. DAVIS IS DEAD?!?

Poochie dried on the way back to his home palette.

This sounds more of a Shelbyville idea.

You know where they make an effort? Japan. And you end up with the nightmare fuel of Ran Ran RUUUUUU!!!!

In Britain they call it 'bumble pudding'.

There was a play last year which was exactly that: the Queen meeting with several generations of Prime Ministers. It is 9 hours long.

Who plays Henry Kissinger?

… will be the episode devoted to Prince Charles' internal monologue.