Then the teacher tells the pupil, "Pay attention, Franco! This will be on next week's test. Franco, stop copying Franco's answers!"

I hear that James Franco had some of his ribs surgically removed.

As long as your dad's in showbiz, the sky's the limit!

Is there an opening for a professional oik?

*Raymond Burr rolls out*

No. Lily Allen's main career is bullshit; singing's just a sideline.

Who will be his J-Lo?

He matches the core Star Trek fan demographic, too.

Someone made a fake credits scene for just such a show on YouTube once, so there's a real Snakes On A Plane vibe about the whole thing.

IN OTHER NEWS: No Star Wars sequels updates today, so we'll have to work in our Star Wars references here and there, as best we can.

Lucky bloody chicken.

Oh come on, they had 60 seconds to run to the other end of the bridge if they saw a train coming. That's reason enough not to post some people with cell phones a few miles up the track in each direction.

He wrote "Dead Souls". You know, the book Little Nicky was based on.

On further reflection, I was actually thinking of that scene from Eraserhead. My bad.

She planned that about as well as one of her novels.

See, when you come out of those topical gags, man, it’s impossible to make those transitions, and then you gotta go into a fucking rake joke. You know, they do this to me all the time. I don’t know what the hell they do it for, but God damn it if we can’t come out of a rake joke. I don’t understand it. Is Don on the…

Audiences will be traumatised by Wayne Brady's death scene, when some kid decides to draw the ocean.

If this movie is going to be canon, the bad guys have to be Cray-Pas.

That scared the hell out of me when I watched that as a kid.

No, that was written with a crayon. Hey-o!