And you may find yourself trying to fit six months into two.

Not disrespect, but he was injured driving a 1997 Nissan, according to early reports from the local news.

Speaking of Maggie G Fuckability, Meg White's rack is nice, and Ditto needs lipo.

That last part is what I imagine you'll do when you can no longer change one digit inorder to interject comedy gold like "Radiohead SUCKS."

I can't wait until Identity Theft extends to the internets…you'll see, our "Idiocracy" society will deem it important to protect online identities someday soon.

It seems so, yes. However, Colbert went on a tirade one night about the first Spiderman movie being the best…I went from that.

The First Spiderman
Was much better, but that's not saying a lot.

What's a Batman?
Is that like when 14 people are picked to live in a one-bedroom apartment and charged with the task of creating a functional, efficient meth lab…to see what happens when dealers stop being polite and start demanding better product?

No, officer. We were just sitting here and these windows just broke out of nowhere…

No, dickhead… a new billiards set up.

1 2. 1 2 3 4!

Fuck you, I'm eating!

Wait a minute! Penguins can't fly. Penguins can't fly!

Dennis the Menace II Society

The Critic
"It stinks."

I have this girlfriend that I met at camp. She's from Canada. She's totally a model, and she totally likes Rock Band and she tells me after she plays it she thinks opf me…naked. I know, right!

All Wes Anderson movies have their place. Especially his short Ass Motel. God, that was some great ass!

Let's everyone talk
Seriously

Also having a bit of fun. I find it quite amusing. Not that your point isn't valid, but taking my "stand-up routine as truth" diatribe as, well truth…that's just fun.

Okay, I thought we learned in middle school that flirting was not "all the way." And the people that were married have a smaller chance of getting laid than someone whos single. Everyone knows that.