Whenever Kate Beckinsale's not around, all the other characters should be asking: Where's Kate Beckinsale?

I'd rather sink some slot time on a date

You never see a guy with a tragic unibrow like that in Canada or Europe.

I always liked how villains know the number of the exact phone booth you'll be standing next to at exactly the right time.

Not quite sure that "Jake letting the nerd date rape his girlfriend is actually a little creepy if you think about it" is really what you would call a cliche.

"managed to offend both teri gross and leonard lopate on NPR." That made me laugh.

Rotten Tomatoes:
Tomato: "A laugh out loud comedy that hits as much as it misses!"
Green Star Thingy: "A laugh out loud comedy that misses as much as it hits!"

I like him, but he's really asking for it there. Is the tattoo and bracelet part of some gag, or is that 'real'?

My grandmother started doing that, and we realized it was time to put her in a home.

I don't think I'd have any idea who they were if I didn't read about them every other week here.

drapes
I find it charming she didn't know what the drapes comment meant.

Hey, Horsefellow, you meet my wife yet?

I hear you can unlock a special Dan Cortez level

Thoroughly Modern Wolverine

I came straight here after I heard that. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed, I expected more tasteless comments. I'm a terrible person.

Is that right? I don't even want to go look. She had me at curly brunette and freckles.

Does he revise his role as "chinless douche" once again?

They coulda countered this movie with "Tomaz and Zamot"

'You are standing in an open field west of a Radio Shack'

and, did I get this right, he's performing as a comedian?