Ow! My heart!

You've stumbled over maybe the best first ever commited to an internet board. Worthy of Flaubert

Adrian Zmed!

"oh it was a very powerful experience" or "it really gave me an insight into how they suffered." = "I'm trying to sound deep and thoughtful." Let's say they wandered into the wrong house and said the same thing, would they still sound smart?

American is a race?

Don't talk about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
The Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!

He shoulda just drop kicked the burning guy a la wicker man.

Banana Pan sounds like a type of underwear.

mmmm…eggpants

How much beard hair, though?

Too true. There's a guy at work that tells me constantly that "if all you get out of your work is a paycheck, I feel sorry for you!" and I want to punch his teeth out.

It's an aesthetic choice. I need every brain cell blazing to outwit my invisible enemies.

Ouch, too soon.

No wait, I want to change my answer: Steve Gutenberg drops a blowdryer in the shower

Shia LaBoeuf! Shia LaBoeuf! Blowdryer in the bathtub.

I wear a foil helmet at all times to block the government from reading my mind, but thanks for the heads up

Vince might've picked up a blood borne virus when that hooker bit him.

All you have to remember is that any room containing a prime number is trapped

Terrifying stuff?? Really? Kind of campy funny, odd, but terrifying, huh. Do you sleep with a night light?

"Wiseau…shoots himself in the face. Find some uplift in that." Many people do.