Where does POTUS using Twitter to confirm the secret program to make payments to anti-Assad rebels so he can win a pissing match with the Washington Post rank with you in terms of material provoking offense?

No, it's the liberal fake news conspiracy! Which also is now including Jeff Sessions for some reason.

Hard to believe the media won't talk about Hillary Clinton when Trump has such uneventful appearances day after day.

But why isn't anyone talking about the woman who hasn't held public office in four-plus years? Pretty obvious liberal conspiracy from the fake news media, focussing exclusively on the current administration.

What a snowflake.

Marlon Brando saying "Krypton" for 48 minutes.

Yeah, can't this Ray Bradbury guy just give us a break already?

Relax, it's just a pile of copies of Settle for More.

Also ESPN is covering some old-ass football player who wants to get parole for trying to steal trading cards or something.

YEAH LONG LIVE MITCH PILEGGI

Perhaps this version will take the title literally and be about the exciting world of grave robbers.

Yeah, Media Matters is right on this one. Sandoval just signed a paper endorsing emergency regulations.

Illusion divided by delusion equals Illu over Delu!

Nice. Now get the fuck out of my driveway, you bald prick.

Durance is also older than Benanti.

I don't think you'd want to relate to Mike Huckabee, unless you get a kick out of killing dogs.

This was an excellent and substantive policy discussion. Who says people can't discuss things in a civil manner on the internet?

Hey guys, get a load of this snowflake!

No, you see, I was making a joke that you are really Tomi Lahren, noted millennial snowflake who was fired recently. Since you seem to get all your talking points from snowflake right-wingers.

Oh, a joke about how the only people who could disagree with you are on welfare! Very original! Do you moonlight as a producer for Tucker Carlson?