You Definitely Stumbled on the Common Theme of Surveillance and the St. Louis Cardinals, Internet

"Sure, the system is rigged against certain minorities, preventing them from reaching the highest echelons of society and occasionally treating them as an inferior strain of homo sapien. But sometimes a black guy is mean to me! Why isn't anyone talking about that?"

"We need to figure out how pop culture is to blame." - Wayne LaPierre

House of Cards made me want to rent from Enterprise for when I murder my enemies.

Is it just me, or does Tatum's neck look disproportionately large in comparison to his torso?

Politics? That Hollywood fad? It'll never last.

Don't take these opportunities for granite, Rock!

foreign trade
Nigerians
News Corp.
flagellate
stapler
FCC
gentle

I'll need to see his birth certificate to confirm he was born to American citizens and not a hellspawn from the Inferno's fourth circle.

No accounting for taste, I guess?

Abe Lincoln would've done How Did This Get Made.

Life must be tough when the movie made about you ends up affecting your pro-football career.

Will this be about some tangent reality where Paul did not react well to losing at The Price is Right?

The weather segments on local news are still popular, so there must be something about getting that stuff on TV.

Trump Taj Mahal cost $1 billion. In 1990.

[Insert Gary Busey as running mate joke here]

Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever submitted for stunt coordination.

Your circuit's dead! There's something wrong!

Well, I figure if anyone knows where to get some Tang, it'd be them.

Nobody wins in the dairy challenge.