Get me pictures! Pictures of Spider-Man!!!

I need pictures! Pictures of Spider-Man!

Agreed! Spider-Man is no hero! Now take my son, hero astronaut John Jameson! He's a true hero!

Internet Nobodies Besmirch Beloved Public Figure! Nobody Cares About Them! Details on Page A15!

British Redcoat Cancels Christmas! This Esteemed Paper Urges Shoppes to Spend More to Boost Economy and Create a Christmas Consumption Miracle!

I'd really only trust someone with the eye of John Ford, the shrewd intelligence of Orson Welles, and the crowd pleasing ability of Ron "Oppie" Howard to bring the story of America's most trusted newsman and mayor, J. Jonah Jameson to the big screen. It's guaranteed boffo box office, Hollywood!

Rampant character assassination!

A true hero! I'll never forget Foxwell! 

Ms. Brandt! Stop flirting with Parker and get back to work!

Oh Heidi. Darling Heidi….I will never forget the wonderful night of solace and tenderness you offered me after Marla's funeral……

Jim Davis is a good friend of mine! I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that he's saved my paper more than once. There have been lean years in the newspaper biz, years when the only thing that kept Americans reading them, hell the only thing that gave Americans a reason to go on living, was to see what hilarious…

He needs to get back to work! All of you! Get back to work!

I KNEW IT!!!

@avclub-cfe912f5cb3aa572bd1c9ae2a9b82207:disqus  I don't pay you to read! Get back to work!

"Anyway, it was one of those 'C' ones."

Good riddance!

Gimmick Accounts: Threat or Menace?!

I TOLD America this would start happening when it abandoned the abstinence-only curriculum!

Jeers For Spider-Man Movies! Sony Censured by Paragon Publisher and Savvy Public!

I'll admit, I enjoyed The Gift.