Jorge Garcia is a magnet for post-career heyday mediocrity. See: Weezer's Hurley

I, too, get my news from listicles with frivolous .gifs

To treasure an autographed picture of Kris Jenner above all else…what does that say about a person, hmmm?

Season 26, Episode 13…that just makes me depressed. Means well over half the once-greatest-show-ever's run is not worth watching/unwatchable. Ever hear of a mercy killing??

Props for the King's X rep, drummer

Please tell me you didn't bend your wookie!

And thus completes my Valentine's Day shopping! And only $23.86! What a bargain!

E.L. James-Brand Home Pregnancy Test (May cause birth defects)

It's MacFarlanesque, I tell ya!

Did someone say The Cosby Mysteries?

Why are there, err, bite marks on the, err, naked Bill Cosby statue?!

He'll be turning your bedroom back into the computer room

John Lennon's "Two Minutes of Silence" and Type O Negative's "The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences" are exactly the same

Reaching…

A most whimsically dreary paean to sycophancy, I do say!

Barack HUSSEIN NObama #BenghaziGate #showmetehbirthcertificate Kenyan-socialist-MOOOZLEM SHARIA LAW DEATHPANELZ COMMMIEEE I WANT MY COUNTRY BAAAAAAAAAACCCKKK!!!!! *explodes*

*grabs crotch* I got your special sauce RIGHT HERE!!

"Do we sell…french…friieees??"

McDonald's Bot Sez: "YOU HAVE BEEN RANDOMLY SELECTED FOR LOVIN'"

Hookers eat free Feb. 2-14