Dolphins are far more intelligent than Whitney and "Whitney" viewers.  But none of them got their own show.

Only if they're also Olympic caliber synchronized masturbators.

You're obviously far too TV-saavy for that job.  Better question:  Why aren't you managing Newt's campaign?

No fair.  Brian Williams could outstare a crocodile.

Using all the fartlings as a moving human shield whenever his nonwife is awake.  If the tabloids are to be believed, that is.

Maybe they'll sacrifice Tina Fey to propitiate the angry Gods of the Nielsen Ratings.

Rather Carbon 14'ing ourselves just a bit with that comment, eh wot, old boy?

While this episode was throughly enjoyable, there was a dismaying lack of Lizzy Caplan and things Lizzy Caplanesque.

You haven't sent them any money, have you?  Or given them any financial information?

When he starts drooling, you'll be able to keep him occupied with community access.

O'Neill's going to be super pissed when he finds out who's been spritzing with his trademark douche.

Isn't the Spanish word for "shit" something like "El Guappo" or "El Guano?"

Would I be extending the metaphor at all if I admitted that I get all of my clothes, appliances, and furniture at the Last Ditch Thriftsmart?

Man, if you'd been the one grading my high school English papers I might not've had to become an entertainer.

AMEN!!!  And I ain't even religious!

Does that mean that her cuffs don't match her collar?

^Is that you, O'Neill?

Yeah, I really like just being able to point at the purty pictures on that plastic coated thingy.

Wouldn't the vitriolic quality of her prose decline if her heart got larger?  Let's hope her visits to Denny's will greatly enlarge her spleen instead.  But no matter what, at least her waistline will be greatly enlarged.

Does the Pope in Rome have the number for Denny's?