No, but I've got several flechette rounds I'd love to fire into your ass.

Hmmm…you spelled "Lieutenant" correctly only to stumble over "wathcing."  Interesting.

Cheer up, T-bone.  The legal system thought that Jesus was a bad person, too.  And now he sits at the right hand of God the Father and his accusers writhe in the agonies of Hell.

Or the fucking oompah-loompahs.  Those things scared me almost as much as the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.

Catch 22.  That scene where the waist gunner's intestines spilled out of his flight suit.  AWESOME!!!!!!!

That may be Sheen's face, and perhaps his head…but I don't think that's his body. 

That depends-when is Gillette supposed to be back?

What if he married Madonna?  Or, at the very least, locked her in a closet?

I think that he just might be embarrassed to be on her show.

Putting every round in the cylinder through the rapist's junk.

I always thought that Tina Fey was solely responsible for the dwindling number of female writers in television.

If by "Zen-like snarking" you mean "with all the resonance and impact of a fortune cookie," then, yeah…I can see that.  Kind of. 

This is the most spirited exchange to appear on the new and improved comments yet.

I'm a workaholic, too. Cepting for Gin. And Vodka. And Bourbon. And all the other ones I can't spell even with spellchecker. And Chocolix. And Japanese girl-on-girl porn. And Pork Rinds. And Fried Chicken.

You got that right, JVS. Ya also gotta know when to walk away, when to run, and not to get no plastic surgery after an epic tequilla binge.

If you think that's hilarious, wait until they get in the plane with John John.

The Seashells?
I think that might be where part of my new face came from. Would one of y'all mind slippin' into town to see if that Roasters franchise is still open, or did all them chikenz get sacrificed for nothin?

Fartin' Greetin' Cards?
SUMBITCH! That was my idea! Bet it was that Deliverance kid what stole it from me!

The Lover put into deathless prose what I could scarcely hope to imagine. Even sober. And not full of chicken.

…and you win the Geek Gold Star for this thread!