What about a Chocolate Starfish Icecream cone?

Dumbledore, Sarah Palin or any one of her less than brilliant offspring would have made a better Hester Prynne than Demi Moore.

I'm with you, Rev. She always reminds me of a CG porn star brought to life.

One stripe=Private.

Japanese Kenesthetic IT Technician.

Well, you just might be cut out to be a Carrot Top.

Scrunchies?
I didn't think that The Hater noticed such blatantly girly stuff.

Yo, dude…ZMF's pretty much got the lock on "The All Caps Guy" around here.

Why? You afraid another "enthusiast" just might spook your "quarry?"

Ha. Wait'll you see the Kim Jong Il David Caruso.

"Botched Procedures: The Cross-Eyeing of my Areolae."

This is nothing more than a brief recompensation shortly before he lurches into a complete psychotic break with reality. I know 'cause that's pretty much how I got into the chikkin bidness.

I choose [a], but [e] is always applicable.

Bludgeoned to death by creepy father. Or Lohan's mom.

Oh. I wasn't being sarcastic about the Cap'n Crunch. It's fun, but don't let it dry on your skin. And this might be a good readers' forum topic: "You know your relationship is good/bad/on life support when it's like unto a bowl of _______."

"…and they still have sex…
…on a floor of Fruity Pebbles no less, so their relationship is still pretty passionate…," so is it the Fruity Pebbles or the doin' it on the floor what's the index of passionosity? Man, you oughta try doin' it on some Cap'n Crunch what's had Wild Turkey poured all over it. I had no idea…

"You'll never be a real man like me." Oh, shit, that was my drunken uncle. He was a Sunday School teacher, so it kind of counts.

How come none of you pointy heads thunk of "corn hole?"

Say, that stuff sounds like it would go real good with cough syrup and Cherry Garcia icecream.

I'm not your Guy, Corko.