I just assumed goop was an ethnic slur.  I can't figure out towards whom, though…

You just need a little more liquor and/or X to fully appreciate Sweaty Music Festival Girl…

You just need a little more liquor and/or X to fully appreciate Sweaty Music Festival Girl…

I think that's the sound my asshole makes when I have the beer shits the next day.  GROLSCH!!!!!

I think that's the sound my asshole makes when I have the beer shits the next day.  GROLSCH!!!!!

That's the only way they can keep George Lucas from sending in 50 shitty reworked versions of Star Wars.  You know he's just dying  to show you the version where the Ewoks build a catapult that shoots down the second Death Star…

That's the only way they can keep George Lucas from sending in 50 shitty reworked versions of Star Wars.  You know he's just dying  to show you the version where the Ewoks build a catapult that shoots down the second Death Star…

Rule #1:  Has it ever been nominated for an Academy Award?

Rule #1:  Has it ever been nominated for an Academy Award?

Perfect!  I'm going to base mine on a film I saw last weekend.  First Time Filthy Fisters: Volume 27.  I just need to take out the romance…

Perfect!  I'm going to base mine on a film I saw last weekend.  First Time Filthy Fisters: Volume 27.  I just need to take out the romance…

I tend to spend most of my time drifting in a small homemade raft in International waters, about 15 miles off the coast of Oregon.  Am I still eligible?

I tend to spend most of my time drifting in a small homemade raft in International waters, about 15 miles off the coast of Oregon.  Am I still eligible?

Can this one have comedy?

Can this one have comedy?

He lost 900 pounds, but he still does the weather…

He lost 900 pounds, but he still does the weather…

Severance package something something…John Bobbit!!

Severance package something something…John Bobbit!!

I tend to the use the royal we, since I'm an assistant manager at Burger King…