Well, rumors persist that she is a devotee of the polar dildo.

Hey, Ralphie, I'll let you borrow my Savage Model 99 in .250-3000 and you can take out them hounddogs in less time than it took the Chinese dude to chop off that duck's head.

Hey, I got at least one 6.5mm Manlincher Carcano I'd be willin to donate if we're going to go for historical authenticity. Ain't been zeroed in ages, though. And you're on your own for the rounds. And you only get to shoot at fuckers what's been in this movie. Or Lindsay's mom.

How is that going to help you find your teeth in your own shit?

Topher is that dude who broke up with Donna Pinciotti, right? Needs to be fed his own spleen.

If the Rapture don't hit between now and then, and if the 666 Obamachrist ain't led us into his racial jihad yet, I'm gonna go see this just because Shane's in it.

Not many M-60's left in the inventory. It'll have to be an M249 or MK48.

I got some nits you can pick, enema stain.

SPOILER ALERT!
Zombieland had some pretty good gunplay in it, BUT:

Maybe…exceptin' for firefights. Just one of the doublewides in my extended family's got more guns than your whole city. And a sucking chest would will sort of put that whole professional sports bullshit in a whole new perspective.

The only thing worse than regular chitlins is foreigner chitlins.

They should use that Miley Cyrus video from a few days back.

Don't forget havin' to eat that pootayne shit.

Phel, you must remember that "The Hills" devotees will not purchase the book to read it. They will purchase the book as a sort of "holy relic," that enables them to "partake of the essence" of the celebrity of Schmauren Schmonrad. You know, sorta like them Catholics do with crucifixes and candles. Or like I do with…

If y'all will give me a District 9 DVD wuncet it's released…
…I'll reduce Schmauren Schmonrad to a mascara stain on the pavement, and you won't have to endure the cancelled-after-one-episode sitcom.

To the Yankee Poinny Heads @ AVC Club
I can tabulate ballistic data and approximate the terminal performance of self-defense loads as they dynamically translocate across the parameters of denser mediums. Is that the same thing as HTML? Y'all need anybody shot? I'll do that for free, only so long as its the right…

So CBS has found a way to tap into the as yet un-pandered to idiot savant demographic?

I call being the survivalist weapons enthusiast, quoterer of scripture, and authority on the 2nd Amendment. And barbecue. And NASCAR.

I just did. Something called "Harry Potter and the Palace of Pedophiles" came up. Has that been copyrighted yet?

It wadn't about black powder firearms, was it? Did I miss something?