@Dr. Strangelovecraft: the CIWS was designed to protect surface ships from incoming cruise missiles. The self-propelled and towed versions are known as the Vulcan. Using any against a helicopter would be kinda like using a sledgehammer to crack peanuts.

I'll settle for not getting screamed at when you inadvertently stumble across a stash of gun magazines.

It just so happens…
…that I've got a couple of 20mm Oerlikons lying around the yard somewhere. They'll just fit inside that long bed pickup, too. I mean ifn' y'all really want to see one of the heliocopter dates lit up with fireworks, just let me know.

Good for you, Claude. Say, how's the "Offical Twilight Memorabila" room coming? Has your wife left yet?

Wow. Citizen Christy is getting more and more acerbic as we speak.

Yeah, it is…but all that suppressed libididnous stuff's gonna manifest itself somehow.

Damn. Beaten to the "misspelling of a wellknown submachine gun by an AVC staffer" punch by none other that Jimmy James. Say, bud…Valentine's Day is a comin' up…feel like, oh, I dunno…celebratin' the day appropriately?

Jorge, I always thought that the Italians found images of the Virgin in their gardens.

I think they should outsource the military to people who really, really like guns. A whole lot.

This was all foretold…
…by the Prophets of the Advent of the PumaMan.

Has she started asking you for numbers, Science Girl?

I foolishly clicked on the link.
Carmen Diaz is hideous without her makeup. And I think that the herd is due for a serious culling. As in, they should be lined up and machine-gunned into an open ditch.

My favorite scene…
…was when BD handed the spent casing to the militant, who, upon consulting some comprehensive work of cartridges [they looked like they were all black* powder cartridges to me] said, "It's an AR-48."

However inept I am on the informational intrawebs, I am quite the adept on the firing line. With almost any handheld or shoulder-fired weapon you'd care to imagine.

FYI HHG: Ermey is a MARINE, and not a SOLDIER. He is therefore at any and all times to be refered to as a DRILL INSTRUCTOR, not a DRILL SERGEANT. If you ever refer to him as a DRILL SERGEANT in his presence, he'll probably knock most of your teeth out through your asshole.

I subscribe to the Australian Aboriginal belief that any photographic representation of oneself enables the JuJu Man to steal your soul. Plus, anything more technologically sophisticated than a semiautomatic pistol kinda tends to kick my ass, so I'm frequently flummoxed by this intrawebs stuff you youngsters are so…

Drew Barrymore is billed BEFORE Kate Beckinsale!?!
How awful!!!!

Tristiac and Miles_Underground were already up when I posted. Dumbass.

Excellent review, Mr. VanDerWerff.
Well-balanced, succint, and decidedly unmaudlin. And I'll be the first to admit that those of us what fetishize firearms have got more than our fair share of weirdos amongst us. I mean some of them sumbitches at the gun shows scare the bejeezus out of me. So it ain't too hard for…

@danrimage: "classist" rhymes with "fascist." Any help?