I thought that we were going to get to vote on the MJ commemorative stamp.
You know, do we want the discernibly African American one, or the discernibly Venusian inter-dimensional warp travelling one?

Ribs [done correctly] are one of life's greatest joys. Sadly, they're not much in the way of a viable self-defense option. Unless you're counting on your attacker to gourmandize himself to death.

Thanks, Lemur. Your knowledge of assault rifles is kind of arousing. But for the next time, be advised: all assault rifles are by definition selective fire weapons. They are capable of both semi- and fully automatic fire. If you ever drop by the compound, you can have the chocolate chip cookie that comes in the…

No matter what, you have to grant…
…that at least the Irish had the sense to adopt the Steyr AUG instead of the M4 or that catastrophe Enfield came up with. And their camouflage pattern is pretty cool, too. Rumors persist that Irish nationalists just might have had something to do with the loss of the Titanic. If…

Wow. Your BS in Womynist Studies has lent such a fine and lethal point to your misandry. I'm all but underawed.

Sorry to hear you have that problem, dude.

*sighs heavily* You know, if Joey's fuck puppet had had the sense to use a .38 spcl or 9mm, this book would never have been visited upon us.

So…that came out when both George C. Scott and Diana Riggs' tits were still alive?

*warbles drunkenly*

Love your new avatar, Mongo.

@The Durckk: "durckk" has me laughing like a hyena.

There are bullets, and then there are bullets.

28. Wake you up at 4:00 a.m. with yet another request for tapioca.

South of the Border Caruso needs some bandoliers across his chest for the stereotype to be fully realized.

Fuck that. I want to see Kirk Cameron hammering bullion cubes into his scrotum. Live.

What are "predestrans?" Those who have been predestined to become trannies?

In all fairness to the rest of us, you really ought to tell us the Latin for "tits."

20. Constantly refer to the President as Barack Hussein Obamachrist.

I'd like to see Sam sinking his talons deep into Speidi's skulls. And ripping out their eyeballs. And pulling out their intestines.

Yeah, and Whitman was a "One Hit Wonder," as in his ass got dusted the first time out.