He's too busy fist pumping at the Tulsa, OK stop of Ted Nugent's 'Black Power' tour.

I wonder if Lobsters has stopped masturbating to this article yet.

A slight similarity and a talented makeup department is the ONLY reason Kelso booked this gig.

Did you miss all those other thousands of words? Lighten up.

Maybe you should stop drinking cooking oil for breakfast.

OH HEY 'SCARE UP NEW BUSINESS' I GET IT GOOD ONE

Welcome to the wonderful world of 'writing about music makes you sound an idiot'. No music review in history has ever been based in any kind of reality. #pitchfork

How could I ever forget when YOUR BROTHER IS STANDING IN A FIELD IN AFGHANISTAN?!

Beat you to it. Good hustle though.

Even if he did get kicked off the bus, he wouldn't be as bad off AS HIS BROTHER STANDING IN A FIELD IN AFGHANISTAN!

But the story sucked. The acting sucked. The dialogue was the most annoying garbage I've ever heard. The same footage and voiceover was used multiple times, although I suppose that was supposed to be, like, art or something. The moments of supposed high drama were flat-out laughable. It took someone getting shot to…

Great read. Thank you!

I really enjoyed it as well. It's completely berserk and 30 minutes too long for sure, but it's still a great time. I saw it on a gigantic screen in a theater with Dolby Atmos sound and couldn't have been happier with what I got. The fact that it got reviewed so harshly and the chest-pounding shitshow called 'Man of…

I stopped giving a fuck about 40 minutes in. There's really no need to start again now.

Are you sure? I'm pretty sure it's 11. The All-Stars seasons threw off the numbering a bit. Anyway, who gives a shit. Yes, Daniel's moustache is the grossest shit ever. Imagine what happens if he sneezes really hard. Or don't.

Which guy is that? I don't know everyone's names or schticks yet. I definitely think the team aspect is killing a lot of everyone's creativity. There's no way in the world so many of these people can all have such flat, similar design styles.

I was skeptical when I first heard about it, too, but the trailer was very impressive.

I saw Spring Breakers as well, and I thought it was one of the largest, smelliest pieces of shit I've ever watched. I couldn't care less about Korine either way, but what a fucking mess.

Good to know that a guy who made his living in the past jumping between longshoreman jobs can just walk into a huge newspaper and lock down a reporters job with little trouble. And here I thought English degrees were useless. Oh wait, this version of Clark doesn't have one of those either.

Dude, that's like watching Lawrence of Arabia on an iPod mini. Fire up Basterds on the biggest, loudest screen you can find.