Boy, Jean-Ralphio's tanning sessions have really paid off.

Boy, Jean-Ralphio's tanning sessions have really paid off.

Starting to call himself J-Shot?

Starting to call himself J-Shot?

You know goddamn well you don't have a desk.

You know goddamn well you don't have a desk.

You knock it off with your goddamn facts right now! Can't you see people bitching in here?!

You knock it off with your goddamn facts right now! Can't you see people bitching in here?!

@avclub-f16faf5d680d7b88e2e157c1c137c497:disqus And that's honestly what I got out of the first movie. The underground base, the blowing up of the Eiffel Tower, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow's origin story, the super suits, all that shit. I thought all of it was cool and fun as hell. If you're going to hire anyone to…

@avclub-f16faf5d680d7b88e2e157c1c137c497:disqus And that's honestly what I got out of the first movie. The underground base, the blowing up of the Eiffel Tower, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow's origin story, the super suits, all that shit. I thought all of it was cool and fun as hell. If you're going to hire anyone to…

@avclub-f16faf5d680d7b88e2e157c1c137c497:disqus Then this might not have as much of an effect on you because clearly you don't give a shit, but alright.

@avclub-f16faf5d680d7b88e2e157c1c137c497:disqus Then this might not have as much of an effect on you because clearly you don't give a shit, but alright.

@avclub-f16faf5d680d7b88e2e157c1c137c497:disqus I'll tell ya all about it if you want. It happens in the first five minutes of the movie, and it's almost comical in how sad and lame it is.

@avclub-f16faf5d680d7b88e2e157c1c137c497:disqus I'll tell ya all about it if you want. It happens in the first five minutes of the movie, and it's almost comical in how sad and lame it is.

Exactly. That is clearly the dumbest argument I have ever heard.

Exactly. That is clearly the dumbest argument I have ever heard.

So involvement in 'Fast Five' means something else remotely related to it will be good now? WTF.

So involvement in 'Fast Five' means something else remotely related to it will be good now? WTF.

Really. I have no idea why people are jerking off so hard to the concept of The Rock and Bruce Willis somehow 'saving' the franchise, but no. Just no.

Really. I have no idea why people are jerking off so hard to the concept of The Rock and Bruce Willis somehow 'saving' the franchise, but no. Just no.