Two words, Benjamin:

My reactions to the release of this volume were as follows:

I don't blame anyone for the loss of my patience! Some nagger took it from me in IKEA!

THE NAGGER IS NOT THE ISSUE!! — Also, Dude, "Nagger" is not the preferred nomenclature.

What do you mean, you spent it all on Jell-O shots?

Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year! It's just not widely reported.

Those aren't tears, Grey Man.

And then I remembered he's not a colonel.

Colonel Dunbar, Colonel Dunbar
Colonel Dunbar, Colonel Dunbar
Colonel Dunbar, Colonel Dunbar
Ohhhh
Colonel Dunbar
(Colonel Dunbar, Colonel Dunbar!)

Fuck you, pay me
You've got two more days
That's the way it should be

The most beautiful sound I eeeeeeever heaaard….

Mom, is that you?

By that, I didn't mean to imply an iPod full of K-Y.

Creed Shreds 4 is finally out, y'all:

I know!

That bitch is responsible for the exploding population.

Ah, Lizzy.

Celebrity Death Pool
Lohan's gonna live a long, long life, people.

That is sooooo felch.

That wink is somehow creepier than Lucille Bluth's.