Dear Mr President: There are too many colors in the gay pride flag nowadays. Please eliminate two. I am not a crackpot.

But if it still ends up in the ocean choking sea mammals, what's the difference? I don't get it.

Eh, everything up to Pam and Jim's wedding stands up OK.

UNCANNY!

The worst thing about 'Let It Go' is it's got a range of about four octaves. Very few people can sing four octaves. Especially not five year old girls.

'Guesstimate'. People, it's either a guess or an estimate. It's not both.

To Pete Campbell, I'd add pretty much every single character in Mad Men. It took some time to come to grips with the fact that, in the weirdest way, Don Draper was the moral center of the story.

"For all [Twin Peaks'] genius, it was rarely funny …"

♫ "Ceee-le-brate good times, come on!" ♫
"I will!"

Geez, I wish we had an equivalent to Dick Cavett today. Or an equivalent of his guests, that's a killer lineup.

I read that second one as 'Miley Cyrus had a 2013 hit with this massive tool'.

How exactly is substituting plastic bags for plastic bottles more environmentally friendly?

Huh, turns out it's actually possible to come up with a worse album title than Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water!

He's like the malevolent character they had to censor from the original draft of The Wind In The Willows in fear of scaring the children.

Anyone who wants to see this movie?

And they frequently twist the truth or are flat-out inaccurate. Exactly what the world doesn't need - actual fake news in a conveniently shareable form.

I'm honestly surprised that we haven't yet seen a CGI kid's movie called Look Who's Oinking.

Cracked is godawful these days, but I accidentally followed a link to Buzzfeed the other day to discover that there are bottoms of barrels to be scraped that I never even dared imagine.

Я ТВОЦ СЛУТА, Я ТВОЦ РОБОТНЦК!

In other news, what just happened to the Newswire about the Oscars deciding to retain PWC? I was about to comment on it and it just disappeared. Weird.