Aren't noise cancelling headphones just earmuffs?

"Yeah, 101 cheeses is alright, but I had a 102 cheese pizza in this little bistro you've probably never heard of that was amazing."

I remember when the book first came out I read an interview with Gaiman where he said he really wanted to write an American story after Neverwhere, which was almost too British. When I actually got around to reading American Gods it felt more like a Stephen King book, the literary voice was completely different (plus…

I'll take a quiet afternoon of reading Scripture and fasting over sinning with rock stars and salsa (the devil's salad) every time.

I did like the bit where his accent broke after yelling at Will Ferrell during that horrible "I must tell the truth after lying twice" bit but yeah.

I got chunks of whales like you in my stool!

I throw feces at them like a senile chimpanzee.

It'll be here sooner than you think!

It's baby talk. Ostensibly adult humans typing phonetically like they're four year olds. Like I get that the world is a frightening place but the whole cutesy tumblr/instagram/puppers/doggos/smol birb/trash panda bullshit seems way too regressive for people who can legally operate motor vehicles and vote.

Now think about hot sex for all your AV Club pals.

And the power to slowly creep over rocks and trees! And man!

Yes, along with 28 Ways to Rebel Against Modern Ennui and Feel Smarter Than You Are. Number 9 will make you shit your pants in disbelief!

My Dying Mudslide

Can I put my tiny house in your spare bedroom, the wind keeps knocking it over.

I like this new writer, he's got moxie.

I'm guessing you pull on the broom to open up a secret passageway.

Every single line has so many things going on.

Muckraking Danny DeVito is gonna clear those hoors outta Washington!

It's like a protective sleeve for my twin American flag and "EXIT ONLY" ass cheek tattoos.

The neighbor of the Beast!