Frankenstein, Demons AND Gargoyles? I'm sorry, movie, but I'm afraid that you'll have to lose at least one of those. You can't have all three

Die Hard 3 is exactly HALF of a great movie

(On cordless phone)
"No, the other one…"

Amazing that Willis has completely lost touch of the traits that made McClain such a great character.

Why, the general public, of course

In an alternate dimension, All of Kanye's persecution rants would be 100% true, and Kim's celebrity would be 100% justified. In fact, these characteristics would define the aforementioned dimension. People there would occasionally stop dead on the street, imagining the remote possibility of our dimension, and the…

LENS FLARE REMARK

aaaaannd?

Did anyone out there lose most if not all of their respect for Aronofsky after they heard about this? Of all the stupid bible stories out there, he chose both the most inconceivable AND the most expensive story to execute.

"Whotta scoop!" *scribbles in notepad*

I honest to God thought that Jimmy Buffet was the article's subject. That would be 43% funnier.

Hodor leaping in concern to Bran's side, followed by a relieved

Whoever funds his movies must be BIG fans. 
BACKERS: "Not that we're pressuring you in any way, Mr. Malick, but when can we expect to see your cut of the film?"
MALICK: (Chases butterfly into field)

Who was the dude at the funeral that got Roger all riled up?

Is this milk still good? 
Do I have a great bushy beard?

So one day she just dusted the lesbianism off her shoulder like a clump of cat hair? If Mr.Show is to be believed, she has at least three relapses to look forward to in the future

None of them can hold a candle to the pizza squagel. It ain't yer Grandma's pizza bagel!

It's like some dude hijacked the cutscene creator for GTA 3 in 2005, and used it to create a DIY feature. He just finished it last week.

It would take some serious cosmic intervention for this movie to be decent, let alone successful. Does Adrian Brody have a gambling problem? A life debt tied to the director, perhaps?

She's so cheek-pinchable